It is not about gaining skill or strength. We are not interested in being anything other than what we are. The fact is that we do not know who or what we are. We have never fully explored that. We believe that who we are is this separate body that was born and will die. We have been taught this and we believe it. We do not question it. We believe in separation. We believe that we are an object among objects. There is so much we just take for granted, so much that we just accept about who or what we are and what is possible. We accept it on faith. What I am saying is that we need to question everything. We need to find out what is true for ourselves. Do I know it for myself or am I just accepting what I have been told?
Yiquan says that unless I know it for myself, I do not know it. We need to find out for ourselves. There is no path. Everyone has their own way. The path is made when we walk. We create our own path. I do not want to follow anyone else’s path. I want to discover my own path, my own way. This may not, and probably is not, your way. Each of us has our own path to walk in this world. Let it be a path with heart. Led by our heart – by our desire. It is the heart that leads us. No one or nothing outside of ourselves can lead us. We must follow our hearts. Follow what brings us joy and happiness. We must be open to discover what that is. When do I feel that I am at my best? When does time stop? That is a clue for what I ought to be doing. What is it that makes me feel more alive? These are all good questions for discovering what my path is.
So, yiquan is not a system, it arises from yi, from my heart’s desire. There are no forms. Or, there are infinite forms. The forms don’t matter. They are all expressions of the heart. The question is what does your heart express? Does your heart long for union or is it fearful. We can feel the fear and long for oneness or we can feel the fear and attempt to dominate and control. It is OK, in fact necessary to feel our own vulnerability and the fear that arises from awareness of vulnerability. We don’t need to pretend that we are strong and don’t feel fear. We can allow ourselves to feel the fear associated with our vulnerability. We fear for our own survival. We desire to continue to live. This is true for all life. All life desires to continue to live. It is part of our operating system. We have been given the skills we need in order to continue to survive as individuals and as a species.
This is what we are interested in. We are interested in exploring the operating system of Life. Yin and Yang. The continual change and transformation. How does the operating system of Life operate within us to protect and continue our life? How does it work? We are interested in coming to know this original operating system. We want to experience how it operates in us. How it maintains and protects us. How it cares for us and sustains us. How it fights off illnesses. This original operating system that does not require our minds or our effort in order to function. What is that? It digests and eliminates food. It produces energy. It grows hair and nails. All of this happens without our mental control. What else might occur if we surrendered? If it works on this level, why would it not work in the rest of our lives. Why do we feel that we need to control the process. We can’t. The only choice is to surrender or resist the process. I choose to surrender.
Movement in Stillness 